Vulnerability: Weakness or Strength

This month, my intention was set toward sobriety.  I was able to reset, gain awareness and accomplish a sense of empowerment that I never could have imagined. I do feel amazing, but I want to continue the year with the intention of moderate, mindful drinking.  This experiment allowed me to dabble in a place of vulnerability that Had always scared me. Being that open has always been a sign of weakness, risk, or uncertainty for me. Allowing others to see what I consider my short-comings is scary and it makes me feel powerless. This month I realized by allowing myself to be vulnerable- I am also allowing myself to be courageous, empowered and STRONG.

I invite you to show a little vulnerability in these last few days in February. I challenge you to take a risk and show others how strong you are.

Start by Asking yourself this question “Vulnerability is _______”.

When I ask myself this question, I answer it many different ways…

  • singing karaoke
  • dancing
  • running a half
  • saying goodbye to loved ones
  • racing in a triathlon
  • crying
  •  parenting
  • standing in front of a faculty of 60 teachers and presenting professional development
  • apologizing for making a mistake
  • admitting I was wrong
  • confessing that I have an anxiety disorder
  • becoming a vegan
  • admitting that food was the enemy
  • asking for forgiveness
  • teaching
  • coaching
  • talking to a stranger
  • letting someone get to know you
  • falling in love
  • Adulting
  • blogging

When I look at my list of ‘vulnerability’, I don’t see weakness. I see courage,

I see a risk taker

and I see strength .  

I see a list of accomplishments.  

If this weren’t my list, I would admire this person for their bravery.

Now, ask yourself “How does vulnerability make you feel?”

  • like butterflies
  • like a rollercoaster
  • I can’t breathe
  • sweaty palms, shaking cheeks, jaw clenched
  • jumping off the high dive
  • all in
  • fear
  • encouragement
  • where fear and courage meet
  • ah-ha

Every one of these emotions is what truly makes me run and hide from vulnerability.     and brings all the emotions of anxiety OUT in the open.  But when I am witnessing true vulnerability from someone else, I am in awe.  When I watch students perform, present information, or overcome obstacles I am brought to tears because it is in their bravery that they were able to accomplish something so awesome.  When I watch my 2 boys jump into the pool, run on the soccer field or go in for a touch down, I am overcome with emotions.  Their courage allowed themselves to achieve greatness.

Finally, ask yourself “What is worth doing even if you FAIL?”

  • alcohol experiment
    • I wasn’t completely successful, but the coping skills I have learned have been completely worth it
  • running and training for a half marathon
    • My hips hurt, my knees hurt, my arches hurt, BUT crossing that finish line was so worth it
  • My job
    • Every single day I am vulnerable, but every single day I know what I am doing is important
  • Being a mom
    • My two boys don’t have a perfect mom, but my world is so amazing because of them
  • Being a wife/partner
    • We don’t always get it right, but I get to do life with my best friend.

I don’t completely look forward to my vulnerabilities that are in my future, but I will embrace them as a sign of my strength and not my weakness.  I look forward to the challenges, the risks and the uncertainties that they will bring. I am grateful for the tools I have learned already this year.

Embrace your vulnerabilities, see them as your strength.

(This reflection was sparked from Rene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly)img_2716

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